Introducing....my fat ass

So let's talk about this damn baby weight thing. Holy sh*t!! Being pregnant I gained almost 60 lbs. Yes 60 freakin pounds!! I had gestational diabetes and I'm not gonna lie my love for ice cream overtook any and all rational thoughts I had about eating healthy. Now me like many women I'm sure thought that when I got pregnant I was going to eat healthy and walk and take care of me and my baby but yeah that didn't happen. I was to damn exhausted to walk anywhere unless it was to go to the fridge to get some more ice cream. I couldn't even fathom walking, yoga and or anything that resembled moving a body part. I just wanted to sit on the couch and sleep. Yes I took being a couch potato to a whole other level. So my ass slowly started to get bigger and I kept looking in the mirror thinking what the hell is that thing back there. It was my ass and I guess that it had a friend move in because it had gotten HUGE! Now that Sophia has been born I know have the joy of trying to lose it.

Here is part of my problem I used to be heavy. About 250 lbs and I was miserable. I was embarrassed and I honestly didn't even want to leave my house. I didn't have that confidence in myself so I lost a 100lbs to good ole Fen Phen (damn you dr's for taking that off the market) so for me gaining weight is a crush to my soul. Now I know many women who love their bodies regardless of their weight from a 100 lbs to 300 and I wish I had that confidence. I wish that I felt that I was beautiful no matter what my weight was but I just don't feel comfortable. I know that what you look on the outside doesn't reflect who you are on the inside but I ain't gonna lie my insides aren't that beautiful. I'm not called the bitchy mommy for nothin. So weight has been and always will be a struggle for me.

Sooooo I'm on a journey to get my old ass back. I lost 40 lbs of water weight the first week after I delivered Sophia. 40 lbs can you imagine that. How does one person's body hold so much damn water!!!So I decided to change my lifestyle. I'm not dieting I'm changing the way I live because I love mcdonalds. I LOVE round table pizza and I HATE cooking. It's lack of experience in the kitchen. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. So for the past month I have been eating healthy. Low fat, tryin to keep the carbs down and eating more fruit and veggies. I've lost 10 lbs so far so I have 10 more until I hit my pre pregnancy weight but I'm not stopping there. I have been hitting the elliptical every day which is hard for me because lord knows I hate cardio!! No I really really hate cardio. Being a new mom I really don't have a lot of time but I promised myself to take that little bit out of my day for me to do something for myself. I need that. ALL mommies need that and we should do it more often but we don't. We become so wrapped up in our kids and husbands that we forget to do things for ourselves. I refused to do that I need that time to get something done for me or else I would go nutso.

So I'm pushing myself harder everyday so far I haven't seen a damn result. In fact I'm not even sure where the 10 lbs I lost came from. So my goal is to eat healthy not to diet, to be a good role model for Sophia and to lose this damn fat ass of mine.  It's either her or me and I won't let this fat ass win!!