Well it happened....we got knocked up and in just a few short months baby number 2 will be making her apperance. YES HER!! After the initial shock has worn off reality has set in. Not only are we adding another baby to a house filled with 3 adults, 4 dogs and a larger than life 2 year old but it's going to be another girl. After the ultrasound I went down the list of things that I did that would cause us to have 2 girls, and then I realized no way this is my fault! THIS IS THE HUSBANDS FAULT! He did this. It must have been his womanizing ways in college that's the only explaination. Then a few days after finding out what we were having we went to Disneyland and there were these two young sisters playing together. They were around Sophia's age and she went running up to them excited to play with them. But they ignored her and she was devesated. My first reaction was to walk over and knock those bratty mean girls to the floor, it killed me to see my Diva rejected by those future Miley Cyrus rejects. It was then that I realized this baby may be mine but in reality it's here to be Sophia's sister. We may have wanted a boy but the decision wasn't ours and I believe Sophia needed a sister more than we needed a boy in the house. She needs someone who is going to drive her nuts, steal her clothes and argue over boys and dolls with. But she's also going to need that sister that stays up late with her after prom, that will be her maid of honor at her wedding and that will hold her hand when she is crying over her first break up. Sophia having a sister wasn't a choice of ours. that was completely out of our hands but now sitting here with just a few short months left I can't imagine anything more perfect....for both of my girls
My little family
Family Picture
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The bitchy mommy vs Martha Stewart
I know it's been a while!! So no messin around let's just get into it!
I have a question, how the hell does Martha Stewart make everything look so easy. People talk about how Macgyver can save the world with just a paperclip and 5 seconds left to spare. But Martha can make a beautiful flower arrangement with a safety pin and a hairnet. How does this broad to it? I am definately not Martha Stewart in fact I may be the anti-martha. I may not be able to whip up a jelly roll in 10 minutes but I can sure find a sale on a fabulous pair of shoes. I'm the mom who shows up with cupcakes purchased at Target 5 min before a party...in my 5 inch heels. Would I love to be her YES....do I hate her for it YES! How do you tap into that part of your brain that holds all of that creative shit? I'm sure it's back there...once you get through the shoes and jean obssession and i'm sure it's right past my love of beer. So I'm determined to be able to make shit out of nothing. I want to be that mommy who makes these beautiful cupcakes for my daughters class with sparkles and glitter on it. I want a whole crafting area of my house where I can just whip things up and hang it around my house for people to stare at and marvel at how beautiful it is and how complicated it looks to make so I can respond "oh that's nothing I did that yesterday in between the diva's bath and making dinner". I WANT TO BE SUPER BITCH. Do I see that happening? Yeah probably not. But it would be nice. No one told me that when you have kids the need to make things for your child will begin to surface. No matter how hard I push it down my inner Martha is starting to rise up and begin a revolt. I try to quiet her down with alcohol and the Real Housewives but she is dying to get out. So where do I start? Something easy....do I sew a dress made out of an old tshirt? Do I make a wreath? Or do I make my own jelly and pass it out during the holidays. Oh you love the jelly? Yeah I made it no big thing it only took me 7 hours. So this is my goal for 2012, to tap into whatever it is that is trying to get out and do it. I would love to be able to pass some kind of gift down to Sophia....and I don't think being able to drink like a man could be considered a gift right? Well maybe it will be useful when she gets into college.
I have a question, how the hell does Martha Stewart make everything look so easy. People talk about how Macgyver can save the world with just a paperclip and 5 seconds left to spare. But Martha can make a beautiful flower arrangement with a safety pin and a hairnet. How does this broad to it? I am definately not Martha Stewart in fact I may be the anti-martha. I may not be able to whip up a jelly roll in 10 minutes but I can sure find a sale on a fabulous pair of shoes. I'm the mom who shows up with cupcakes purchased at Target 5 min before a party...in my 5 inch heels. Would I love to be her YES....do I hate her for it YES! How do you tap into that part of your brain that holds all of that creative shit? I'm sure it's back there...once you get through the shoes and jean obssession and i'm sure it's right past my love of beer. So I'm determined to be able to make shit out of nothing. I want to be that mommy who makes these beautiful cupcakes for my daughters class with sparkles and glitter on it. I want a whole crafting area of my house where I can just whip things up and hang it around my house for people to stare at and marvel at how beautiful it is and how complicated it looks to make so I can respond "oh that's nothing I did that yesterday in between the diva's bath and making dinner". I WANT TO BE SUPER BITCH. Do I see that happening? Yeah probably not. But it would be nice. No one told me that when you have kids the need to make things for your child will begin to surface. No matter how hard I push it down my inner Martha is starting to rise up and begin a revolt. I try to quiet her down with alcohol and the Real Housewives but she is dying to get out. So where do I start? Something easy....do I sew a dress made out of an old tshirt? Do I make a wreath? Or do I make my own jelly and pass it out during the holidays. Oh you love the jelly? Yeah I made it no big thing it only took me 7 hours. So this is my goal for 2012, to tap into whatever it is that is trying to get out and do it. I would love to be able to pass some kind of gift down to Sophia....and I don't think being able to drink like a man could be considered a gift right? Well maybe it will be useful when she gets into college.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
What happened to the year??
How freaking long has it been since I blogged? Good lord!
So since the last time the diva has turned one. ONE!! It's been an entire year since that child has exploded out of my vagina (you can't tell me there wasn't an explosion. I saw blood and there were stitches involved. If that's not an explosion I don't know what is). She's walking and has an unhealthy obsession with our stairs. Which is enough to send this bitchy mommy into hysterics. She has now discovered tv which leaves me utterly dumbfounded over this spongebob squarpants fellow. I don't understand the love for this sponge that lives in the sea. I only wish that her favorite show was true blood or maybe one of the law and orders. It would make tv time so much more enjoyable. So after a year of no sleep our littlest diva is finally going to bed at 8 and sleeping through the night. After a year of sleeping 2 hours a night we finally figured out what her problem is. She doesn't like her crib. Ummmm excuse me I don't know what's wrong with her. I would gladly crawl into that thing and catch myself a nap but no not my child. She prefers to sleep on a full size bed. I didn't get a freaking full size bed till I was 17. Must be nice. Oh my exhausting diva
What else has happened?? We added another member to the household. Like my animal pack wasn't insane enough we have now adopted a 3 legged dog. Ooohhhhhh yeah you heard me. 4 dogs....15 legs A stray showed up at our office. Malnourished and limping on his leg. After trying to find a rescue to take him we busted him out of the pound the day they were going to put him down. After taking him to the vet the only way we could save him was by amputating his leg. So that is how we got Ben. Ben the 3 legged dog. Ben who snores louder than any person I've ever met. Well with exclusion to my grandma. No offense grandma
Last and certainly not least is my other big announcement. I've started my own business. Along with our insurance agency I am now selling Stella & Dot. I am soooooo excited. I love it! So along with a walking toddler, a 3 legged dog, the insurance business and, 4500 sq ft house that for some reason doesn't seem to clean itself I have found a business that I love. I'm not going to lie. It's hard to find that balance of sanity amongst all those things when I was really never sane to begin with but I'm working on it. When my day is mostly elbow high in poop it's nice to have something that you can focus on that you really feel passionate about.
Life has been crazy...silly and chaotic in sometimes the most exhausting of ways. But if I changed it what the hell would I complain about.
Check out my website www.stelladot.com/trudi there's my shameless plug
So since the last time the diva has turned one. ONE!! It's been an entire year since that child has exploded out of my vagina (you can't tell me there wasn't an explosion. I saw blood and there were stitches involved. If that's not an explosion I don't know what is). She's walking and has an unhealthy obsession with our stairs. Which is enough to send this bitchy mommy into hysterics. She has now discovered tv which leaves me utterly dumbfounded over this spongebob squarpants fellow. I don't understand the love for this sponge that lives in the sea. I only wish that her favorite show was true blood or maybe one of the law and orders. It would make tv time so much more enjoyable. So after a year of no sleep our littlest diva is finally going to bed at 8 and sleeping through the night. After a year of sleeping 2 hours a night we finally figured out what her problem is. She doesn't like her crib. Ummmm excuse me I don't know what's wrong with her. I would gladly crawl into that thing and catch myself a nap but no not my child. She prefers to sleep on a full size bed. I didn't get a freaking full size bed till I was 17. Must be nice. Oh my exhausting diva
What else has happened?? We added another member to the household. Like my animal pack wasn't insane enough we have now adopted a 3 legged dog. Ooohhhhhh yeah you heard me. 4 dogs....15 legs A stray showed up at our office. Malnourished and limping on his leg. After trying to find a rescue to take him we busted him out of the pound the day they were going to put him down. After taking him to the vet the only way we could save him was by amputating his leg. So that is how we got Ben. Ben the 3 legged dog. Ben who snores louder than any person I've ever met. Well with exclusion to my grandma. No offense grandma
Last and certainly not least is my other big announcement. I've started my own business. Along with our insurance agency I am now selling Stella & Dot. I am soooooo excited. I love it! So along with a walking toddler, a 3 legged dog, the insurance business and, 4500 sq ft house that for some reason doesn't seem to clean itself I have found a business that I love. I'm not going to lie. It's hard to find that balance of sanity amongst all those things when I was really never sane to begin with but I'm working on it. When my day is mostly elbow high in poop it's nice to have something that you can focus on that you really feel passionate about.
Life has been crazy...silly and chaotic in sometimes the most exhausting of ways. But if I changed it what the hell would I complain about.
Check out my website www.stelladot.com/trudi there's my shameless plug
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Boo Boo's and the new mommy
So as you all know I'm a new mom which means everything that happens is a crisis. We had several this week and I handled it like any insane woman would. First Monday morning came like every other Monday morning. Baby yelling for breakfast, the coffee maker working overtime and the dogs running amok. Then it happened.....the dog scratched Sophia on her face. Of course it was on accident but that didn't stop me from screaming that my 7 month old child was now going to be blind. I'm not sure who was screaming louder me or her. The husband had to come in and calm me down and assured me that our child was not going to be blind. In my mind I had already started scouting out which seeing eye dog would be the best to get her. So off we went to the dr where she received her second round of flu shots. Again she screamed and I made the dr see her to make sure that there was no permanent damage. There was possibly a cornea scratch so drops were prescribed. Home we go...a few hours go by and we are playing and my child like a drunk after a night of binging toppled over head first onto her blocks. Less than 10 minutes later and tears from us both she has a bruise and I'm convinced at this point bubble wrap is the only thing that will prevent her from being injured. Fast forward to the next day....at this point I don't think I have put her down for longer than 5 minutes. Look Monday was rough enough no laughing! She's lucky I didn't crawl into the crib with her. Tuesday was going fine. We played, we ate, we watched our soap opera then I had to use the bathroom. Damn me for taking a water pill in the morning...anyway off to the bathroom we went. Now I put her into her little vibrating bouncy and she sat straight up. I kept telling her lean back baby, lean back and she laughed and laughed at me like I was telling her a joke. As I'm pulling my hair back before i pick her up she throws herself forward right onto our hard floor. Cue the screams. So now my daughter has a scratch under one eye, a bruise on her cheek and a red bump on her forehead. At this point how has the state not intervened and removed this child from our home.
Look I know I'm crazy and I know that at some point bumps and bruises are going to be a part of our everyday life but I'm not quite ready for that yet. I am not going to handle this part very well. Remember I'm the woman who stays up at night worrying that someone is going to break into my house and steal my child. So the fact that my child is crying because she unfortunately got her mothers clumsiness kills me. How do you mother's handle it!!! I am now convinced that bubble boys mother just locked him in the bubble and there was nothing actually wrong with him. So as I prepare for more tears in the future....from me not her I can only do one thing. Go online and find the best damn bubble money can buy.
Look I know I'm crazy and I know that at some point bumps and bruises are going to be a part of our everyday life but I'm not quite ready for that yet. I am not going to handle this part very well. Remember I'm the woman who stays up at night worrying that someone is going to break into my house and steal my child. So the fact that my child is crying because she unfortunately got her mothers clumsiness kills me. How do you mother's handle it!!! I am now convinced that bubble boys mother just locked him in the bubble and there was nothing actually wrong with him. So as I prepare for more tears in the future....from me not her I can only do one thing. Go online and find the best damn bubble money can buy.
Monday, December 6, 2010
The sexy mommy
It's been a while so let's just jump into it shall we......hope you brought your floaties.
So let's discuss my favorite subject....SEX!! Now as a newlywed having a baby not to long after getting married I told myself that sex after the baby wouldn't change. I think most women try and tell ourselves this. It may happen to other people but it won't happen to us. Boy was I wrong. Before baby I felt sexy. Things were a little toner, I had time to do my hair and make up, my showers consisted of shaving my legs...above the knee! All these things that you take for granted when you don't have a child screaming at you. But now well I use the term "hot mess" pretty frequently and I think it more than applies. The hubby will look at me with the what's up baby look and I'm thinking seriously what the hell is wrong with you! My hair is wet and in a bun and I'm pretty sure it still has conditioner in. My eyebrows haven't been waxed in god knows how long so me saying I have a unibrow would probably be an understatement. My attempt to put on make up failed miserably and I have two different color eyeshadows on because I completely forgot what I was doing and how to apply it correctly, I won't even discuss the fact that it's been 4 months since I have gotten a facial. I haven't had a mani pedi in months so I'm at this point starting to look like a homeless person. I have stretch marks and I only managed to shave one leg before the diva started screaming and I had to jump out of the shower. I'm wearing a shirt that is wrinkled and has milk stains on it from a baby who decided that spitting up on me demonstrated just how much she really loves me. Who is this man that is looking at me and thinking hell yaa I want to tap that! Since we never know when the diva is going to wake up sometimes sex is a little rushed but hey you take what you can get. Gone are the days when you wake up for a morning quickie...It's been quickly replaced with a screaming baby demanding her morning cereal or a diaper change. Gone are the days of coming home from a party and you can't even make it to the house you just handle business in the garage, it's been replaced with sneaking the baby into her room and out of her carseat hoping above anything that she doesn't wake up. No more sunday afternoon delights because you look over and what you thought was a sleeping baby is now awake with eyes wide open wondering what the hell is going on as she swings back and forth in her little swing. Creepy. Oh how quickly things have changed.
I think we as women need to be a little creative. We need to reach down and find our sexiness. It's there buried under dirty diapers and cereal. We got it in us we are just so exhausted we have a hard time finding it. I'm pretty sure my sexiness is at the bottom of the hamper buried under onsies and bibs. Yeah things have changed but it's not necessarily bad. We adjust but the key is to make it just as important as it was before. Because it is important. It's very important and we can try and say that it isn't but we need that contact with the person we love. It's important for the relationship. I know that somwhere under all baby throw up and big hairy eyebrows there is still the sexy mommy I was before and obviously the men in our lives don't seem to care how bad we look. They seem to find the sexiness in us when we don't even come close to feeling it....or maybe in my case he just has a really good imagination.
So let's discuss my favorite subject....SEX!! Now as a newlywed having a baby not to long after getting married I told myself that sex after the baby wouldn't change. I think most women try and tell ourselves this. It may happen to other people but it won't happen to us. Boy was I wrong. Before baby I felt sexy. Things were a little toner, I had time to do my hair and make up, my showers consisted of shaving my legs...above the knee! All these things that you take for granted when you don't have a child screaming at you. But now well I use the term "hot mess" pretty frequently and I think it more than applies. The hubby will look at me with the what's up baby look and I'm thinking seriously what the hell is wrong with you! My hair is wet and in a bun and I'm pretty sure it still has conditioner in. My eyebrows haven't been waxed in god knows how long so me saying I have a unibrow would probably be an understatement. My attempt to put on make up failed miserably and I have two different color eyeshadows on because I completely forgot what I was doing and how to apply it correctly, I won't even discuss the fact that it's been 4 months since I have gotten a facial. I haven't had a mani pedi in months so I'm at this point starting to look like a homeless person. I have stretch marks and I only managed to shave one leg before the diva started screaming and I had to jump out of the shower. I'm wearing a shirt that is wrinkled and has milk stains on it from a baby who decided that spitting up on me demonstrated just how much she really loves me. Who is this man that is looking at me and thinking hell yaa I want to tap that! Since we never know when the diva is going to wake up sometimes sex is a little rushed but hey you take what you can get. Gone are the days when you wake up for a morning quickie...It's been quickly replaced with a screaming baby demanding her morning cereal or a diaper change. Gone are the days of coming home from a party and you can't even make it to the house you just handle business in the garage, it's been replaced with sneaking the baby into her room and out of her carseat hoping above anything that she doesn't wake up. No more sunday afternoon delights because you look over and what you thought was a sleeping baby is now awake with eyes wide open wondering what the hell is going on as she swings back and forth in her little swing. Creepy. Oh how quickly things have changed.
I think we as women need to be a little creative. We need to reach down and find our sexiness. It's there buried under dirty diapers and cereal. We got it in us we are just so exhausted we have a hard time finding it. I'm pretty sure my sexiness is at the bottom of the hamper buried under onsies and bibs. Yeah things have changed but it's not necessarily bad. We adjust but the key is to make it just as important as it was before. Because it is important. It's very important and we can try and say that it isn't but we need that contact with the person we love. It's important for the relationship. I know that somwhere under all baby throw up and big hairy eyebrows there is still the sexy mommy I was before and obviously the men in our lives don't seem to care how bad we look. They seem to find the sexiness in us when we don't even come close to feeling it....or maybe in my case he just has a really good imagination.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Has anyone seen my mind?
Sorry I've been gone so long it's been a hectic week....but I'm back so here we go!
I knew that when I became a mom things were going to change for me. I knew that I wouldn't think the same way but never did I imagine the thoughts that would flood me on a daily basis.
First off I have realized I am now a crazy person. Someone has taken over my body and brain and I have become a shell of my former self. I am a nut job and here are all my crazy thoughts.
I am convinced the house is going to burn down or someone is going to break in and steal my child. Yes I have an alarm but that doesn't stop me from thinking ninja assassins are going to mission impossible my house to take my child who's only talent at this point is farting and giggling. If I leave the backdoor unattended I'm convinced a rattlesnake is going to slither it's way in and eat us all alive. Am I done with my craziness?? Honey I'm just getting started!
I'm convinced every night that suddenly for some unknown reason the baby monitor is no longer working and my husband must listen to me as I sneak in there and whisper some phrase through it. Usually it's "Your a jackass" something along those lines. I check the stove several times before bed because I'm convinced I didn't turn it off and we are all going to die in our sleep. I'm worried about my health constantly thinking I'm going to drop dead from some unknown disease and leave my child in the hands of the man who refuses to change anything that resembles a poopy diaper. I'm afraid that I'm going to slip and fall and break my leg and I won't be able to crawl to the phone to get help because the dogs will be attacking me and I'll bleed out. These are real thoughts people!! When I was delivering I begged the nurse over and over please don't let me die on the table please don't let this kid kill me. She probably though I was a lunatic. Today I was outside in our courtyard and a plane was going right over the house and I thought to myself if that plane exploded how long would I have before debris would hit our house, then I started wondering where the keys were in case this happened.
So in case you haven't figured it out by now I'm insane. I was normal until this child came busting out of me. I have crazy thoughts and it has made me into a crazy mommy. I never thought this would happen to me. I thought nothing is going to change I'm going to stay the same normal person I was before I got myself knocked up. Well that didn't happen. I became a nut job.I think completely and utterly irrational and what makes it worse I'm completely aware of it. So my question is will this madness stop? Will I ever have a rational thought again? Will I be able to pass a stranger on the street without thinking its some government conspiracy to steal her and clone her. So I live in a sea of irrationality...the first step is admitting you have a problem right?
I knew that when I became a mom things were going to change for me. I knew that I wouldn't think the same way but never did I imagine the thoughts that would flood me on a daily basis.
First off I have realized I am now a crazy person. Someone has taken over my body and brain and I have become a shell of my former self. I am a nut job and here are all my crazy thoughts.
I am convinced the house is going to burn down or someone is going to break in and steal my child. Yes I have an alarm but that doesn't stop me from thinking ninja assassins are going to mission impossible my house to take my child who's only talent at this point is farting and giggling. If I leave the backdoor unattended I'm convinced a rattlesnake is going to slither it's way in and eat us all alive. Am I done with my craziness?? Honey I'm just getting started!
I'm convinced every night that suddenly for some unknown reason the baby monitor is no longer working and my husband must listen to me as I sneak in there and whisper some phrase through it. Usually it's "Your a jackass" something along those lines. I check the stove several times before bed because I'm convinced I didn't turn it off and we are all going to die in our sleep. I'm worried about my health constantly thinking I'm going to drop dead from some unknown disease and leave my child in the hands of the man who refuses to change anything that resembles a poopy diaper. I'm afraid that I'm going to slip and fall and break my leg and I won't be able to crawl to the phone to get help because the dogs will be attacking me and I'll bleed out. These are real thoughts people!! When I was delivering I begged the nurse over and over please don't let me die on the table please don't let this kid kill me. She probably though I was a lunatic. Today I was outside in our courtyard and a plane was going right over the house and I thought to myself if that plane exploded how long would I have before debris would hit our house, then I started wondering where the keys were in case this happened.
So in case you haven't figured it out by now I'm insane. I was normal until this child came busting out of me. I have crazy thoughts and it has made me into a crazy mommy. I never thought this would happen to me. I thought nothing is going to change I'm going to stay the same normal person I was before I got myself knocked up. Well that didn't happen. I became a nut job.I think completely and utterly irrational and what makes it worse I'm completely aware of it. So my question is will this madness stop? Will I ever have a rational thought again? Will I be able to pass a stranger on the street without thinking its some government conspiracy to steal her and clone her. So I live in a sea of irrationality...the first step is admitting you have a problem right?
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
For the love of poop!!
So in talking to my wonderful and extremely handsome friend James S. yesterday I realized that there was a very important topic that I have yet to discuss. Men and poop.
I know there are certain things that men do that I appreciate it that I don't want to do. If it was up to me to mow the lawn we would look like a bad episode of Hoarders and they would have to bring in a search team just to find the front door. In turn I cook and do the laundry. But there is one thing I don't understand. I'm not quite sure what the fascination is men have with their poop. They love to poop and they love to talk about poop. They poop take pictures and send them to their friends! They love to fart and to fart on you. YET when it comes to changing a diaper that has poop in it suddenly poop is their mortal enemy. I can't tell you how many times the hubby has taken Sophia into her room only to start yelling for me and the phrase he uses "babe hurry there's a problem". This is never a phrase you should say to a new mother. I drop everything and go running in there expecting to find her turning blue or choking on something instead I find my husband across the room curled in the fetal position holding up a cross while saying his hail mary's. Ok maybe I'm exaggerating a tad but that's what he acts like. So being the supermom I am I glove up and dive in. Now I'm not gonna lie this kid can poop. She gets that from her dad obviously. Her poop is not pretty and she loves to wait while your changing her and unleash some more. As I'm changing her in my full hazmat gear my husband is standing in the hallway dry heaving. This is the same man who on the first night we spent together he farted and threw the covers over my head. Nothing says love like a dutch oven.
So this is what I don't understand. What is it about a baby's poop that terrifies men? Why is it he could witness our child being shot out of my vagina like a cannon but he cannot handle changing a diaper that has a little bit of poop in it. This is a mystery that will plague me for rest of my life. Yet this is the same man who I'm thoroughly convinced that if he could get away with wearing a diaper and pooping in it he would. So the poop mystery will continue to mystify me. I will never understand it poop is poop and if they kid could wipe her own ass I'm sure she would. Until then I will not be allowed to leave the house in fear of coming home and finding Sophia sitting in the backyard while he hoses her ass down. I hope she knows how much I have her back....literally.
I know there are certain things that men do that I appreciate it that I don't want to do. If it was up to me to mow the lawn we would look like a bad episode of Hoarders and they would have to bring in a search team just to find the front door. In turn I cook and do the laundry. But there is one thing I don't understand. I'm not quite sure what the fascination is men have with their poop. They love to poop and they love to talk about poop. They poop take pictures and send them to their friends! They love to fart and to fart on you. YET when it comes to changing a diaper that has poop in it suddenly poop is their mortal enemy. I can't tell you how many times the hubby has taken Sophia into her room only to start yelling for me and the phrase he uses "babe hurry there's a problem". This is never a phrase you should say to a new mother. I drop everything and go running in there expecting to find her turning blue or choking on something instead I find my husband across the room curled in the fetal position holding up a cross while saying his hail mary's. Ok maybe I'm exaggerating a tad but that's what he acts like. So being the supermom I am I glove up and dive in. Now I'm not gonna lie this kid can poop. She gets that from her dad obviously. Her poop is not pretty and she loves to wait while your changing her and unleash some more. As I'm changing her in my full hazmat gear my husband is standing in the hallway dry heaving. This is the same man who on the first night we spent together he farted and threw the covers over my head. Nothing says love like a dutch oven.
So this is what I don't understand. What is it about a baby's poop that terrifies men? Why is it he could witness our child being shot out of my vagina like a cannon but he cannot handle changing a diaper that has a little bit of poop in it. This is a mystery that will plague me for rest of my life. Yet this is the same man who I'm thoroughly convinced that if he could get away with wearing a diaper and pooping in it he would. So the poop mystery will continue to mystify me. I will never understand it poop is poop and if they kid could wipe her own ass I'm sure she would. Until then I will not be allowed to leave the house in fear of coming home and finding Sophia sitting in the backyard while he hoses her ass down. I hope she knows how much I have her back....literally.
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